worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
