Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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