I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it glows. i had to have it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
