meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
