Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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