It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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