If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
