We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
