Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he fucked my hip out of place.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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