I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Panties = found
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize