does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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