Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
