He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
