dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
