forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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