Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
