my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
