There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm really into asian looking animals
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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