Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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