so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
