how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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