Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
