the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
