Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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