anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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