There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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