if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
