Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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