I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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