When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
