whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
