This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
