So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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