i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
