careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
