Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
