Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
