If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
