Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We are all done wearing pants today
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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