Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
