okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
