i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
