we have pet lesbian snakes
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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