I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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