This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
