if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
