I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
