you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
