There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
