It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
