Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
