I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
