I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
