is your mom at the bar?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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