ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
