he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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