Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
