I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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