I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
