just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
