; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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