Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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