I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
