Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
